Do Not Click Do Not Click Do Not Click
School Stuff
Fun Stuff
Life of Brian
Your custard

By Natalya Mckenzie

Imagine you are the world’s most strongest human, you take a chance... and do a double flip into an alligator cage at New Zealand’s Butterfly Creek. Remember, you are the strongest human in the WORLD and you never get scared. You take a chance... you bend down on what it looks like a trampoline. You feel the tensions rising, bend your knees, close your eyes and...
“Ok class times up, hand in your papers”
Bella’s head pricked up, she looked at her blank piece of paper lying on the Rimu made school desk. Ever since she went to this posh private school she had always returned her papers in blank.
“Uh Mr. Border” Bella mumbled nervously.
“Yes Bella” he replied back.
“Is there any chance I could retake the test?”
“Retake the test? You didn’t write much did you? That’s ok I only expect as much as you can write”
“Well I didn’t exactly write much.” Bella admitted handing the blank piece of paper to Mr. Border.
“Well Bella.” He said,
“I have no choice but to write a letter to your parents, I am very disappointed in you. Now quick I don’t want you to be late for your Math class.” Mr. Border sighed.
2 days later it was the weekend, and Bella kept thinking to herself...
‘Your custard, your custard, your custard, your custard.’
All weekend. It was Sunday now and Bella still kept thinking, she thought she might have gotten away with it.
Just after she stopped thinking she was custard suddenly she heard a
‘OOOO I am custard!’ She thought to herself as she was running down the stairs.
On the second step to the family room there was sprinkle of blue dust and...
‘I’m custard! I am definitely custard. I look at all the yellow goo around me. I’m not walking now, I’m slithering across the hallway making it covered in Custard, ARGHH!’
‘Ok don’t panic’ I thought to myself, ‘you’ve just turned into custard what’s the worst that could happen?’
‘Oh no! Here comes my big fat dumb ugly mean spoilt good for nothing brother! He loves custard and OH! He has picked me up ARGH! I am heading for his mouth and oh! Hasn’t he ever heard of brushing?’
‘Good bye angry Mum, good bye angry Dad, good bye dumb brother...’
“Hey! What are you doing with that custard? Put that down NOW!”
And hello... dumb brother’s new girlfriend! She is religious about eating healthy food!
Suddenly I am feeling relaxed, I am surrounded with yellow clouds and green elephants, I can hear soft voices. I feel myself regaining my body shape.
Then I fall into the family room in front of Mum and Dad and hear a:
Oh yeah I forgot to say, today is my birthday!
“Right Bella”, said Mum, “Would you like some birthday custard!?”
I just laughed and laughed!!!

Brian Falkner Books