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The caviar chocolate raspberry caramel sundae

By Naomi Moore

The caviar chocolate raspberry caramel sundae was my undoing. Let me tell you from the beginning...

I was at the Isoseles Ice Cream Parlour (Quite rare because that is where my demented maths teacher hangs out)and I was sitting on one of the many '4' shaped chairs. I ordered a chocolate sundae from one of those miserable waitresses in pink dresses with white aprons and funny hats. I had done this so that I could prove to myself that I could do what I thought I could do. When the sundae was set in front of me, I took the bowl in my hands, and concentrated. I desperately wanted a caramel-choc-raspberry sundae, and I was sure that I could create one. But just for a fraction of a second, my mind wandered. It took only the smallest amount of time, so I didn't notice . . . until the smell came. Choruses of 'EWWW!' and 'Grose!' and 'That is DISGUSTING!' were directed at my table. There, seated comfortably before me, in that same blue and white china bowl, was a tuna caviar chocolate raspberry caramel sundae. I pretended not to notice what was happening, and lifted my spoon. I cracked the hard coating of chocolate to reveal a layer of black and yellow caviar, covered in raspberry sauce, followed by the vanilla ice cream. I shuddered and lifted the spoon to my mouth. Everyone else in the building was silently watching, with covered noses. I couldn't back out now...SQUISH! I gave a hefty swallow and it was done. Only about thirty more spoonfuls to go! I gave a retch, and stood up, casually leaving the Isoseles Ice Cream Parlour. Then I spewed up in the bushes and went home. I think I'll stop here, before I run out of words, but keep an eye out for the sequel, The peanut butter pork citrus blueberry sundae - the revenge of the Isoseles Parlour...

Brian Falkner Books