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By Vivacious Effervescent

Icons of one another became our last chance for hope. All we could aspire for. The perfect hair, bodies, life. No such thing as heroes in the world where we were our own competition.

We hid behind our reflections, fighting off our imaginary enemies and trying to become our own façade, with on-point eyeliner and concealer over our masks. We might as well have had a ‘Vacant’ sign hanging high above our spirit and individuality by the way we were keeping ourselves together.

Figure, clothes, appearance – that’s all that matters in today’s world. Living in a world where the words of another can ruin you when spoken to the right people. Jealousy and competition compromising our thoughts of those around us. Worst friends or closest enemies? We didn’t know.

At the time it made sense. Living in the shadow of memories and wishful thinking. How did we end up like this? We were setting ourselves up for destruction, wrapping the noose of gossip and betrayal around our necks and waiting for our “friends” to do the honours.

More friends, more respect, more fun. That’s what we were living for. But in the place where we thrived from our infinite, dispensable friends, we had no allies. Our feelings didn’t matter; all that mattered was the expectations that we always seemed to meet with ease.

It honestly felt like every day was a desperate cry for help, wishing someone would show any sign of originality, drawing us out from our shells of wispy perfection and hidden truths. I wonder if anyone felt the same way, or if I was never meant to be there. I was never meant to live the life that was sought after by every other girl in the school, that was slowly slashing through my spirit like shards of a broken mirror.

We were living in repetition, the constant routine of gossip, glam and lies turning to almost like a production line, choreographed with lack of passion. How on earth did happiness and independence become so obsolete?

But through our whirlwind of self-loathing and impossible standards, we still managed to take comfort in one thought. Despite the desperate, heart aching loneliness, at least we were never alone.



Brian Falkner Books